PUTY’S WORLD CUP REVIEW & PREVIEW – June 27/28
Sam’s Safe Space for Soccer Stoolies
Hi haters™,
Show me someone who has not been entertained by the first couple weeks of Puty’s World Cup and I will show you a GOTdamn liar. This tournament has been bringing the heat – big time – and yesterday was no different.
Ze Surrender Cobras in their natural habitat, a rare sight indeed
So let’s start by taking a look at what went down on Wednesday before moving along to the games on deck today…
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Recap – June 27
Scores from yesterday:
Six groups are now officially done and dusted. That leaves the remaining two to be settled today:
Before we get balls deep in the recap, this is what how the bracket is tentatively shaking up:
This will become particularly important for some of the games coming up today, but we’ll get to that. Let’s start with Wednesday’s scores…
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MEXICO (0) – (3) SWEDEN
RUNDOWN: It wasn’t exactly pretty but Lars, Sven and Emil (I assume that’s what everybody’s name is) managed to get the dub they desperately needed to advance. As for Mexico, quite a jarring reality check after looking damn good for two games and hearing everybody fluffing your junk for an entire week… then getting your ass handed to you by a good (and likely underrated) but by no means great Swedish squad. As it turned out though, thanks to the highly unexpected result of Germany/Good Korea, both teams qualified for the next round – hooray!
Thoughts on Mexico?
Poor performance on both ends of the field. There was a lot more whining about Mexico’s defense, which makes some sense after they gave up three to a not-particularly-dangerous Sweden that scored one each against Korea and Germany – but let’s keep in mind one goal Mexico conceded was a freak own goal and another was the result of an extremely unfortunate deflection that landed at the feet of a striker right in front of the net. Point being, take the “defensive implosion” narrative with a grain of salt. I was more disappointing with Mexico’s offense, which barely did anything in a game the team needed to finish atop the group and avoid the half-bracket of death. Goes to show that Mexico’s ceiling may be higher than we thought coming into the World Cup, but their floor is definitely lower than what some people thought after the first two group stage games. Throw out a stinker like that again in the knockouts and they can kiss their culos g’bye! [Editor’s note: it is important to remember that you can’t lose in the R16 if you don’t make the R16… just FYI.]
Thoughts on Sweden?
How about the balls on Sweden’s coach! Old Boy told Zlatan “sanks but no sanks” and, after beating Italy just to make the World Cup, heads off to Russia without a proven goal scorer… and ends up winning a group featuring Germany and Mexico.
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GOOD KOREA (2) – (0) GERMANY
RUNDOWN: Unlike with Spain in 2014, which I saw coming a mile away, I gotta be honest I did not see this type of implosion coming from Germany. Korea had looked better than their results would suggest in the first two games, but beating Die Mannschaft in a game the Koreans were playing for only slightly more than pride while it was must-win for Ze Germans?? More unexpected things have happened in soccer… but not many.
Thoughts on Good Korea?
Won themselves a nice little going-away prize and in the process became folk heroes throughout all of Mexico. Some nice Korean lads/ladies definitely got some unexpected sex last night.
Thoughts on Germany?
Combination of “boy who cried wolf” and “believing your shit don’t stink” ultimately proved to be Ze Germans downfall. Playing poorly coming into World Cups was nothing new for this team, so nobody got worried with the loss to Austria and ugly win over Saudi Arabia in the run-up because they would simply pick it up at the World Cup just like they always did……. until they didn’t. Team looked old and slow and out of ideas this tournament. Time for another Das Reboot. It’ll be interesting to see if Joachim Löw sticks around for it or of instead he goes digging for another gig.
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SWITZERLAND (2) – (2) COSTA RICA
RUNDOWN: Lot of people seem to think Switzerland is some sort of dark horse in this tournament. Yep, nope, their performance against Costa Rica pretty much solidifies it for me that they are gonna be someone’s snack in the knockouts..
Thoughts on Switzerland?
The Swiss are like the high school student body’s treasurer who comes back from summer break with dyed hair, a tattoo and a fake ID to get beer… the nerds refashioned themselves into the bad boys of the tournament with their ridiculous hacking of Brazil and controversial political statements against Serbia – and good for them, as it got them laid (ie, to the knockouts) but these wannabe bad boys are eventually going to come up against some legitimate bad boys in the quarterfinals (if they can be Sweden) at which point their true “badness” is likely going to be exposed.
Thoughts on Costa Rica?
Showed some backbone and won a point. Good on ya, Ticos. Have a nice flight!
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SERBIA (0) – (2) BRAZIL
RUNDOWN: Serbia had a look here and there but Brazil was simply a more complete team and never looked not in control despite the score-line being relatively close throughout.
Thoughts on Serbia?
Good try good effort, just not enough attacking talent to make it out of the group. Conceding the last goal to Switzerland was a massive kick in the pants, and they never recovered. Still not a people to eff with though – ever.
Thoughts on Brazil?
Still my gun-to-head favorites to the win the whole damn thing. Anybody can lose at any time in this World Cup, or so it seems, but Brazil feels like a team that has the talent and cohesion to only get better from here. The injury to Marcelo – if it proves more than just some passing back spasms – means one less attacking option, but an optimist would argue that inserting Felipe Luis will make their defense that much stronger and provide midfielders like Coutinho and Neymar that much more cover to push forward.
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PREVIEW – June 28
Schedule for today as we round out the group stage by getting balls deep in the business end of Groups G and H:
Note: I pretty much gave away my thinking on these games on the latest episode of Puty’s World Cup Podcast – links at the bottom! Hint! Hint! – but here’s a quick and dirty recap…
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Senegal (+360)
Colombia (-130)
Draw (+235)
This game should be AWESOME. Both teams have all sorts of attacking talent and love to get up and down the field. The difference for me is Senegal’s defense, which was all over the place against Japan, and is about to face a much sterner test in the likes of James, Cuadrado, Falcao (et al). That said, the odds for Senegal – a live opponent that should be able to play with just about anybody – do look miiiiiiighty tasty. But, nope, I’m sticking to my guns. Colombia to win 2-1.
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Japan (+170)
Poland (+180)
Draw (+210)
Japan are better than they got credit for coming in, even overcoming the various pre-tourney coaching changes, but at the end of the day they are not THAT good and Poland has a serious habit of losing their first two World Cup matches and – with all the pressure off – dropping the hammer on someone who needs the game more. That is obviously the case here as Japan is on top of the group with four points but would need to lose by less than Senegal (assuming they lose to Colombia) to advance. Poland to win 2-0.
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England (+160)
Belgium (+195)
Draw (+205)
Winning this game “earns” you a spot in the half-bracket of death. (Note: anybody saying the side with Spain is “tougher” than the one with Uruguay, Argentina, Portugal and Brazil is trying way, waaaaaaaaaaaay too hard.) Roberto Martinez has handled this situation perfectly. As soon as Belgium beat Panama and qualified for the knockouts, he said that he was already planning on resting some guys who were carrying little injuries. Set expectations low so a loss doesn’t hurt morale. Gareth Southgate, on the other hand, has said all along that England want to win this game, and would play to do so. Wanna know a great way not to live up to expectations? Set them extremely high. Kudos to Southgate on that one. So the odds – favoring England – are clearly a reflection of the two coaches’ apparent strategies coming into the game… and it just plain makes too much sense for England to “win” a game that would earn them a much harder path through the knockouts. England to win 2-1.
Only one watch? What a peasant
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Panama (+310)
Tunisia (-125)
Draw (+195)
Meaningless game but one in which Tunisia (an okay team) should handle Panama (a bad team) unless they just don’t give a flying f*ck in which case all bets are obviously off… but getting a win at a World Cup is important enough back home for a lot of fans that I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Tunisia to win 3-1.
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So there we have it. Latest episode of PUTY’S WORLD CUP PODCAST is up on all (or at least most? I hope??) relevant podcast platforms… so:
…and we’ll be taping another episode today wrapping up the groups and looking ahead to the Round of 16 with – I am pleased to announce – at least one new extra special guest, so stay tuned!
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Holler,
Samuel Army