Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man That Allegedly Choked A Family Member During An Argument About Pizza Crust?

KUAM- An argument over pizza crust heats up. Court documents state 42-year-old Eduardo Borja Castandiello III was arrested and charged for family violence after allegedly choking a family member. When interviewed by police, he admitted they were arguing about pizza crust when the victim called members of the household “retarded”.

First of all let me just admit that this story comes from Guam, so I have no idea if it is real or just some #FakeNews with the mugshot of a guy that looks like one bad hombre. But nonetheless, I completely understand the hopeless feeling when debating someone about pizza crust. The crust is the best part of the pizza. Always has been, always will be. It’s one of life’s certainties. Dealing with anyone that says differently will drive even the most rational person insane. Maybe you call a family an R-word, maybe you choke them out, maybe all of the above. Which is why I never bother to debate anyone over stuff like this. Once I find out someone doesn’t like pizza crust, I just kill that person in my brain, make sure they are not responsible for any important decisions in my own personal life, and quietly go on my way.

And for what it’s worth, the bite right before the crust is the second best part of the pizza. It’s a marvelous threesome of cheese, sauce, and jussssst the tip of the crust. In related news, I am now getting pizza for lunch.

h/t upm